I got my hair cut today and it felt wonderful. I felt as though I was letting go of a lot of what was in my head with every cut of the scissors. I'm trying hard to find something interesting to write about that isn't somehow centered around myself, Tony or the two of us. I find I'm failing miserably.
Next week, Tony's leaving Wednesday, 4/25 for this FBLA conference in Rochester. He gets back Friday night, 4/27. Friday night I have a rehearsal for the band trip, for which I leave the next morning until Tuesday 5/1. You do the math. I won't see him for a week and I don't like the idea of it. I'm falling hard, not in love, but in a very serious smitten case of like and I seem to be taking it well. For once, I'm not going off the handle, about this, that is.
This morning I got to school and Stacey's new, sex obsessed (who isn't?) boyfriend Chris approaches me with an offer. He wants to hook me up on a blind date tomorrow night with this boy Mia (a stupid nickname for Jeremiah *no offense to anyone named Jeremiah and has the same moniker*). Chris begins his offer by asking me how I'd feel about dating a drummer. Inside, I answer "I don't like looking at drummers. Why in the name of fuck would I want to date one? Do you have any idea of the track record I have with people who play musical instruments?"**** But on the outside, I play nice. I tell him I'll think about his offer, but I kind of have something going on here. Ten minutes later, after talking to Tony, I head off to the lounge where Chris and Stacey are sitting with Beth by a circular table. Stacey tells me that Mia is hot and that I should go for it with him. I laugh and tell her calmly no.
Rafi takes her space after she leaves the table, hugging him first. He starts talking to Beth about Harry Potter and his brother Benny's movies and how Beth doesn't seem to understand something stupid about Rafi's life. I try to speak, but it seems as though I am non-existant. Rafi notices my aggravation of being interrupted and not being acknowledged when I'm speaking. SO! I flip. I've had enough. I haven't ever written about this in diaryland, so here's how I avenged.
"Dammit, I don't fucking need this! I've got you (pointing at Chris) trying to hook me up with one of your friends and Stacey making me out to look as though I NEED to be set up with someone I've never met when the two of you fail to realize that I don't do blind dates. Rafi, Beth, I understand both points. I keep trying to tell you that, but one or both of you don't look at me when I'm talking. But what else is new?!"
So I had managed to create a small scene. Chris, Rafi, and Beth all look at me, eyes wide open and are for once silence and focusing on the words that are coming out of my mouth. And I had nothing more to say. I'd had my victory. I'd had my release.
