*Sally's cranky today.* Sorry to say, I started and went through the day on sort of a short fuse burning faster than a wildfire in New Mexico.The day started out fine. I awoke early, did my hair and then left for school. The senior class was going to Albany to visit the capitol building and the connected museum. Pretty harmless, right? Sound like fun?
Well, we stopped at the last rest stop before we hit the city. I think it was the New Baltimore service area, the one with Starbucks and a Mrs. Field's donut/cookie/whatever shop inside. I went straight to the devil and ordered a large steamed milk with extra vanilla, got myself a bagel at Mrs. Fields and then proceeded to sit down with Sara, Sarah and Stacey. I was in a good mood up until this point.
We all sat down in the Roy Rogers food court and then I looked up at the television above us. There was hockey coverage and so I immediately thought of the Leafs, which inevitably led to thoughts of the class trip. I thought and vocalized that it would be cool if they made it to the Stanley Cup and one of the games was that weekend. But in the middle of correcting myself in that the Cup would be won way before the weekend we'd be up there, Sarah does the following.
Sarah: Sally?Me: Yes? I know, I'm wrong. The Stanley Cup games will be done by-Sarah: No, what are you talking about?Me: Hockey, Maple leafs, I just thought it would be cool if-Sarah: Sally, look around. None of us care. Why are you still talking about it?
Well, gee bitch. You asked for it.
So I slam down my bagel and I say to her, "Sarah, why is it that I have to sit here and act like I'm interested in whatever stupid things you guys have to say? Why can't you fucking indulge me for a change?"
I took a sip of my steamed milk and watched her get up and walk away from the table. Stacey and I exchange some not so nice words and then I watch her walk off to see if Sarah's okay.
This is the exact reason why I hang out with older people and tend to fall for them as well. I can't take the immature bullshit that people my age are known for. It drives me up the fucking wall that I'm expected to be happy all the time and I'm supposed to listen to stuff other than Moxy Früvous because supposedly, they're TOO intellectual and don't make any sense to the others in my class.
If I believed all the above to be true, I would be a horrible human being. I went through this with Jian when we were beginning to correspond. He told me that I seemed to have a lot of drama in my life and though he's right on that part, I couldn't vocalize it in a nice way that he was the only one who seemed to see that as a problem (though, you only have to see him in concert once - with or without Früvous - to know that he's being hilariously hypocritical). Be dramatic. Be it all you want, it's YOUR choice. I'm used to living a full emotional life. Being in therapy with a damn good doctor from age 15 on up will do that to you. I'm not complaining. It's enabled me to bond with several people: Maggie, AJ, Adrien, and many others whose names have disappeared from my memory's radar at this point. It also doesn't help that I'm a dramatic, fictional writer. What do you expect? Sunshine and roses and constant smiles? Just like that moment when Wednesday Addams comes out from watching 24 hours of Disney movies in the second Addams Family film, you would be scared. And quite frankly, so would I. You can't be happy all the time and equally so, you can't always be sad. And I'm not always sad, I just seem to be more immune to extended periods of bliss. But I expect that to change. It already is. *smile*
