Tomorrow is Albert's wake. I always knew the time would come to bury a highschool classmate, I just thought I'd have to wait until after I graduated. Damn, and I had two months.I've had headaches since I heard the news. They come and go, they aren't migraines, they just ache me and therefore suck. But I go on. I get tomorrow off and get to go and say goodbye. It's going to be so weird and I find I'm simultaneously anxious and scared. I just hope that this anger I have inside of me that keeps resurfacing every now and then resigns from me. I don't like being angry.
I'm downloading Dane Cook off of napster, his rants about Christ Chex and pay day. I mean it, this guy is talented.
I now have three weeks left of band as a daily chore. It's weird. I'm nervous about this weekend's trip and playing before a live crowd at the post office pavilion. I always feel my most insecure because I know that Eric will sound better than me and it will just be the final nail in the coffin. My last jazz band solo and his as well, but he'll get the most attention for it. Senior night is Monday night. Remember these ingredients: I'm bitter, I'm PMSsing and I'm highly energized by the emotions surrounding this week. I'll take my pizza from Mr. Lusk and then I'll leave...or maybe I'll stay just to spice things up.
There's a rehearsal tonight that I have to be jetting off to very shortly. It's the last jazz band practice I'll ever be required to go to for the rest of my life. I swear, I will never allow my child/children to play the tenor sax or any saxophone as long as they live. I take that back. I want to have a son and if it's the baritone or bass sax then he can play it all the fuck he wants. That's a damn sexy instrument there that just shows you who the queen is. You think the bass guitar is dead sexy, a bari sax is like it's crowned goddess. I wouldn't mind at all if my kid played one of those. I'd be fucking proud. My son wouldn't have to answer to an alto sax or worry about not being appreciated. One note out of that sax and everyone is your bitch, especially the idiot on lead alto who is incapable of crying. And all the while, my son would be laughing his ass off, pointing and saying "HA HA! LOSER!!" in his best Henry Rollins voice and that is the only way my kid would play the saxophone.
