I wrote this at the lake today on a piece of paper boasting the details to a senior semi-formal that was canceled.I'm at the lake. My sanctuary, my place to go when I need silence and peace away from the silence and peace at home. That makes sense to someone, I hope, because it's 90* outside, read - 10* from dementia.
I think people are turned off by my new bumpersticker. Nothing degrading about it, I have to say. I've had it in my drawer for a year already waiting to put it on until just now. I thought it would make people laugh. A guy at Stewart's liked it but in the hour I've been here, two cars came and left without debunking. My heaven, not yours, I suppose. It reads, "Sarcasm, just another great service I offer."
30 people visited my diary yesterday. Who are you people? Show yourselves. I can only count 15 close friends in real time and they don't know this place exists and five online friends. I think that now because it's summer and I'll maybe see half my school people again ever again, that I'll give them the address before I leave for college. I worry what some, well, maybe 2 people will think. I mean, how would Tony react if he read the shit I've written in here about him over these last two months? Come the last week of August, I suppose we'll know. For people like AJ it's backwards. You got to know the Diary Sally before you knew me. But these people, people who have known the School Sally? Maybe five knew I was suicidal, 10 knew I'm in therapy, 6 know why. You do the math. The mass email will be sent out before I leave for school.
No wonder I feel inspired on this bench. I was reaching just now and I looked down. There are a few markings on the table top. Little impressions, small circles, very nipple-esque. 2mm in diameter each, a small eye in the center. Last summer, I sat at this exact bench writing my third novel. My perfume bottle refused to work, so I removed the head and banged the inner nozzel against the wooden planks of the bench top.
I remember thinking it would heal. It's been a year. I've really left my mark on something. Time to claim it. *Digs into benchtop with house key.*
There. It's mine.
