I don't usually write something about the current topic of the day because I'm generally obsessed with myself and the problems I have. But, then again, I can make an exception every now and then. Because this is more important.Simply put: I never thought that I would live to see a day like this. I didn't think that I would watch the World Trade Center, and a building neighboring it, crumble into ash because someone (plural or singular, whatever) doesn't like my country.
But I suppose that this is the reaction you're meant to have when you grow up watching *other* countries go through what us Americans went through today. It's like when a tornado hits other houses and tears them to shreds for decades and then one day, you come home to find your house was in a tornado's path. Or when your aunt calls you to tell you she has breast cancer and you think "No. This sort of thing only happens to other people's families, not mine."
Quite shocking. You never think it will happen to you because you've always been so lucky.
You never think it will happen because this is usually the well reputed land of peace and we do not terrorize other countries so why would it happen here, right? Today, millions of us learned that was wrong.
We are too cocky and became too comfortable with our power and therefore, ironically, too vulnerable for something like this, this attack on our immediate world, which if looked at in the right angle (if there is one) was the perfect one. Congrats to whoever did it, you clearly thought it through.
Now there are hundreds of people being flown out of NYC and into Albany Medical center, *right* down the road. Now there are hundreds and thousands of people who are dead because of the choice you made. I know that whoever did this will never read my site, but I don't care. You clearly do not matter enough if this is the best you can do to become famous.
As Americans, we pride ourselves on being safe, we pride ourselves on expectations that really can't be applied to us. Up until 9:30 this morning, we believe that what happened would never happen and in the meanwhile, someone wised up and decided to show us the error in our thinking.
And we're paying for it.
Not to say that I'm not upset that this is happening cause I am. This is absolute shit and I am honestly scared. I have never witnessed anything like this in my life. For the first time, I can't find the words to express how I felt while watching one building collapse after another before I'd even eaten breakfast. Before I could even be awake enough to possibly comprehend the amount of destruction that has been wreaked on my country before the rest of it even woke up. This is henious and someone has to pay for this. A wrong so WRONG should not go unpunished and I have a feeling that it won't. We'll pay someone back for doing such a horrible thing, of this I'm sure. It's all a matter of how we do this and in doing so, we'll make a new image for ourselves as a nation.
I went out to eat dinner tonight with Kevin, a boy on the first floor of our dorm. Ever since this morning's events he's been flipping out because he might know someone who was in the city and due to the power outages, phone disconnections and general inability to get online, he can't really tell if he should relax or ligitimately freak out. Kevin is so angry. He wants to bring the people that did this to us to a horrible death and make them pay for what they did in a very cruel manner.
I'm listening to him and I understand his anger. It's completely justifiable.
But, I also know that similar violence will not save us. I also noticed that he's very fatalistic about this and for the first time, I'm not. Or at least not as much as I would have been months ago while I was depressed. I am actually borderline optimistic and pessimistic because the alternative is shit and I don't like it for once.
Maybe I'm too hopeful and naive.Maybe I've seen too many movies where the world was made right again before the credits and theme song begin to play in the background. And maybe because of that I've developed this false sense of how the world really is because Movieland is very comfortable.
But then again, maybe not.
Maybe in the end things will be okay and I won't have to go to sleep with a small amount of fear tomorrow night because I now live so close to the capitol of a state that was just the victim of a very traumatic terroristic attack. Somehow. Anything is better than this. We are better than this. We will continue to be better than this. We have to.
I have a lot of faith in us and what we will do from this point on.
