Dear Osama,I saw you speaking on television today and I wanted to share some of my thoughts.
Firstly, my emotional reaction:
I have never been more sick of any other human being in my life than you. Well, maybe my cousin but that's to be expected. You probably don't know him.
Secondly, my intellectual reaction based on simple truths and logic:
So you're happy that the US got fucked a month ago and reason that God has foresaken us. Yeah we're sinners. I'm one. You're one too. I'm sure your sister was getting freaky with her husband before they married and the rest of your family has some really wild stories of their glorious younger years in the 70's with the different drugs they experimented with.
So, why didn't you just bomb yourself? I bet a lot of people wouldn't delve too deeply into the reasons for that. It'd be cheaper. God, bombing us had to take a lot of money out of your accounts. Killing yourself would have been less costly and you'd never have to worry about money again. Come on, I'm shocked you didn't think of that. Plus, in your suicide note you could have said it was an act of God, that he wanted you to do this to prove your dedication in his name. You could have beaten yourself to death with your cane as a holy instrument or something. Don't you think?!
Don't tell me we asked for this. Don't say that because we're cowards and this justifies why we have been "cursed." Killing 5,000 of us makes you a fucking saint, right?
We have not come to attack Allah or the Muslim religion. We have come to attack you because you're a sick son of a bitch. You're the scared little bastard sitting from behind a rock in some sunny place. You're the one that will have your people fighting FOR you thinking that they're going to die gracious deaths for this. You're a stupid pussy.
Don't kill people in the name of God. That's just wrong and it's a weak-assed excuse. What, you couldn't find any good reason, one that could possibly stick and be understood by all? Like, we took the last of your favorite cookies from the cookie jar or we failed to refill the tray after taking your last ice cube. What about that time we threw an all night kegger next door the night before your big job interview. See, those would stick. Or you could make like me and wanna take someone out because they keeping forgetting to leave YOU room in the fridge YOU bought. Saying that God has taken issue with us is none of your business unless God left you a damn message. And these days, the only people to hear the voice of God are either Holy or insane. I'm guessing that you're the latter. I could be wrong, we've never met. I'm guessing that God does not want people to be in pain. The devil does.
Get your facts straight.
Salleeee
