Well, welcome to November everybody. Hope it rocks for you. Question, why is it currently 70* outside? That's just wrong.This diary is an exact year old this month, so I'm making some November Resolutions.
I've been holed up in this room for what seems like an eternity so I decided to go for a walk. It's only in the mid 60's so it was pretty warm outside. I walked around the entire campus, with the exception of the dorms and the parking lots, and just thought. I spent a great majority of that time speaking to myself aloud.
Does anyone realize how much I think about sex? I don't think you do. It's constantly there. I'm thinking about it. I'm writing about it. I'm wishing I was involved in some form of it. In retrospect, if you must know what some of the pull towards Tony was, it was the sexuality he exuded without even knowing it. He's Latin, for God's sake. He was an excellent kisser. He could dance and grind like there was no tomorrow. I think that we would have worked well together in bed (though, it's pretty well known that after the fact, he'd run for the hills and never speak to me again. Wait, we're already there and I didn't get any booty from it. Beeeyotch).
I'm currently talking to Kate and the subject of sex-addiction came and went. When women act sexual, they're seen as sluts. Yet, here I am and it's on my mind more than any of you know. I guess when I filled out that survey, I should have made that the one thing I didn't tell anyone at the end of that survey. It occurs to me now that I never really wrote this brutally and sexually honest in this diary before. I remember when I wrote about the thongs I bought and a bunch of you were all like "Thanks, now I can't stand up." You know I felt embarassed? I discovered today, well, not today but a while ago but I put it into words today, that I will probably become some sort of sex addict after I lose my virginity. I'll be in a relationship when I have sex. But I don't think that my boyfriend will be sufficiently prepared for the after effects. I can see myself never wanting to leave the bed. I'll have the massage oils going to work for the sensual aspect, working in a way they never could on Adrien considering the obvious.
Now wouldn't it be funny if afterwards, I was completely turned off by it and even disgusted to the point of wanting to flee.
That would be ironic.
I'd hate that.
Let's hope that doesn't happen.
