A long time ago, maybe May 2000, I sent an email to Jian complaining about my eldest brother Jeremy. To which he replied, "Stop yer bitching, he's just looking out for his groovy little sister." Yeah, exact quotes, people.Well, Mr. Ghomeshi, you can suck it and here's why:
Last night, around 1:30, I was getting ready for bed and so I decided to fix the bedsheets to my liking. I uplifted the sheets and noticed that there was bulky, clothes type thing at the foot of the bed. I reach down and it's a pair of Jeremy's pants. Ah fucking well. Not so bad, eh?
Wrong. Please start sucking. I toss the pants in front of Jeremy's new room and then start fixing the sheets. There's another clothes type clump. I lift up the sheets for fear that it might be alive this time and it's a pair of black boxer briefs.
Black boxer briefs disheveled at the inside foot of my bed.
Black boxer briefs disheveled at the inside foot of my bed by my brother.
Black boxer briefs disheveled at the inside foot of my bed by my brother mean only one thing:
It means that not only am I upset that Jeremy fucking slept in my bed whilst I was away at college, HE FUCKING DID IT NAKED!!!!
JESUS H TAPDANCING CHRISTOPHER MURRAY FOSTER WALKEN CHRIST ON A POPTART. If I ever find out or think that this will happen again, AND I DO, I will cut off Jeremy's dick through a chipper shredder and then discard with his body in the fucking Atlantic Ocean.
So, Ghomeshi, you can fucking suck it if you think Jeremy did this out of "LOVE" for me and if you do, you got a really fucked up definition of "brotherly love."
I highly doubt that this qualifies for any of that, don't you?? Well, don't you fucking think so?? I think that this is war. I tossed the shit in front of his doorway last night and all he had to say was "ew."
Ew. Ew?? Try I wanna gauge my eyes out. I barely know you. I kinda resent you for moving out when I was 9 and all you have to say is "EW?"
Fuck that.
So...How are you doing today?
