I was invited to a Christmas party by Tony's parents. It starts at some point late Monday night. I'm so there. Yay for their South American traditions. Nice, no? I ran into him at the highschool with the plan of giving him a card for the rents. He told me I should just come over cause they want to see me, they miss me or someshit. His sister gave me a gift and then we parted ways. He hugged me. It felt nice. He seemed really happy to see me.So, I call later and then went over. We're tossing a ball back and forth with his sister for about an hour or so, if not longer. It was kinda like the times Brian and I tossed the ball back and forth.
Tony kept taking cheap shots at me. First he asked me how life was at college and then proceeded to ask me how my boyfriends were. Yes. Plural. I told him that this guy Christian was supposed to have come over the night before to watch the Grinch but never came down due to finals, it would have been a nice reason to do badly on them. To which, Tony suggests that we would have made out several times throughout the night. Borderline pissy. Borderline me jumping cross the room and ramming the ball up his ass. I figured he was kidding so I held back. I was the better person. But when he fell off the bed trying to get to the ball, he said that the ball was too small. I told him that big boys play with bigger balls.
I went out into the living room to see his parents after giving them the card. His mother taught me some Paraguayan dancing in front of the television and Tony watched us. He smiled from the hallway. I was really thinking that he's made uncomfortable by the fact that his mother loves me whereas he does not. Yay for that. She invites me to their Christmas party Monday night, during which I'll get a gift.
We tossed the ball back and forth again and his friend calls to ask him if he wants to get a movie. They ask me and I decline. I don't feel like it. I feel like staying at their house and eating dinner with his sister and parents. He joins us. His mom tells us that I'm coming for Monday night's festivities.
"Who invited *you*?" he asks. Mom defends me. God bless her. He asks me if I want to come with him to watch the movies (House party 4 and Gladiator), I decline. Instead, I say goodnight to him and proceed to go downstairs with his parents and sister to watch Spanish soap operas. I get to go and mingle and drink alcohol with him and his family Monday evening.
I'm prompted to ask. If Cindy's also invited and I get drunk, will I be held accountable for what I do? Speaking of whom, I was there for several hours on a Friday night, a usually date-filled night for people in relationships or not, and she didn't call once. There was no hint of her. I wondered what would happen if I said her name in front his parents. Would their heads explode? Would his?
Now I have to learn their language if I'm going to be part of the family, so they say.
Anyone see that episode of Sex and the City where Carrie dates this short story writer whose mother is sexually uhm, sexually knowledgeable to the point where it's discussed constantly in the house? The guy now suffers from premature ejaculation *(google better bitchslap me for that one) and now their relationship suffers as well. They break up but Carrie's still involved with the family and doesn't know how to break up with them as well.
Point is, they treat me wonderfully. I love them. They make me feel needed, wanted, loved and appreciated and they know very little first hand knowledge of me. I need to be around people that do this for me. I'm slowly morphing into a close friend of the family with ties to the oldest son. I don't want to exclusion from them but how is that possible when the one potentially troublesome aspect is the same one to help me get inside?
It's sinking in that I should stop being so effected by people who are hardly effected by me. I realize I've said this 13 million times before, but I'm thinking that this time it's truly done for me. At the school, I was disappointed in myself for talking to Tony again because it was a mistake or something. It was like I picked up something useless on a travel. On the phone with him last night just before heading over, there was silence and I desperately wanted to just get the fuck off the phone. I wondered why I even called, if there was even a point to my trying to work something out that was impossible. As cold as it is in this house, I'm getting numb to this situation again. The alternative is feeling a used emotion. Stifling. Dead weight. I feel no need to bother with this anymore.
***On a side note, I got slapped with this today. Ewwww. Is that even possible? I suppose it's a good thing that I kept that foot condom, eh? I hear that.
