Okay...that was really pathetic of me.I have to stop being so indecisive. I just got off the phone with Dave and it's clear: this is the right choice. No dating. No sex. Just friends and if that doesn't work, you haven't really known him for that long anyways.
And besides, how can you argue with someone who is flat out telling you that they're incapable of being emotionally connected to you or hold a successful relationship? Simple: You Don't. I don't know why I was trying for so long but I did. No regrets.
If only all people would have a little meter thingie onto their arm labeling what their deficiency(ies) is (are). Some comedian said this, you affix labels to everyone who goes out on the dating scene so that you can pick and chose if you want to buy, let alone lease.
I just needed that one 24-hour vengeance period. Mrowr. I'm schizo tonight. I made the right choice. I just have to have more faith in myself as a decision maker.
I've always done that. I held out waiting for Tony to come to his senses when in reality that wasn't going to happen and then I beat myself up for not being able to get that time back. With Dave, I don't want to spend my time with my friends analyzing everything that we've said, done, been to each other in some attempt to figure out why we're not together anymore. There is no mystery here; Dave is incapable of letting people into his life and taking on the responsibility of a new relationship with everything he has on his plate right now. I knew this two months ago. I told me so =)
There is too much going on in my life at this point and there are options on the horizon. He will not be the last man I ever get involved with.
So...let me be clear: I do not want to agonize over this like I have in the past so please don't be angry if you email me/talk with me about it and I seem to "avoid" the subject. I've come to a point with Dave and this situation that that will not help me. Agonizing leads to second guessing which leads to a very unhappy Sally who can't make up her mind on anything cause she thinks she's letting go of something good with someone who really makes her cry.
I'm going to make a serious attempt at abstaining from this sort of self-torture. My past ways of coping with failed relationships have never really been successful (If you're a faithful reader, you know this to be a certainty). Out with the old, love. In with the new.
In the meantime, my eyes are dying from these stupid allergies. What is wrong with my room?
