So my brother is a born again Christian racist. What a great day this has been. Tonight I ask him to stop using such terms like "Muslim mother fucker" around me because I think it's disrespectful. 15 minutes later, he's laughing at me for taking him so seriously and I'm telling him I think it's very sad that I can even think to take him seriously on such things. I hate that my brother actually feels this way and then says that it was how he was brought up. Two "fuck yous" later, he's going downstairs, muttering under his breath, "If you'd been through what I've been through." I scream "I don't want to. It's not my fault you can't fucking deal with anything that happens to you."Good times. Really.
I went to the lake today in my bikini top and best pair of jcrew jeans and made an attempt at getting some color for this pale body of mine. I think I did a good job though I'm not as burnt to a crisp as I was last year around this time.
Cheers to AJ and Kath and Fiona. It's been a year since I met them for the first time in Toronto.
I made the mistake of instant messaging Dave tonight in the effort to get my anti-virus disk for my computer. He rips into me for the way I said hello to him (Instead of asking how he was, I asked for my stuff) and then reminded me that he was "not the enemy." I really wanted to laugh at this. I didn't know that this was a warzone. Christ.
This was my first adult relationship that I can actually say I'm proud of and Dave has no idea what I've been through since we last spoke a fucking month ago. What am I supposed to do? Pretend I wasn't falling for someone I really liked who possessed most of the good qualities I look for in a man? Someone who would be perfect if not for the twins infants and an ex who I'm speculating isn't an ex (but those are just my own insecurities). He told me to drop him an email sometime. What the fuck? Did we not agree to wait til September to talk again or was that agreement just about seeing each other? You want me to get over you? Stop calling me Sweetie when you get offline with me. STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP IT!!
No, why would there be awkwardness or any sort of bitterness here? What do I know?
That's just crazy talk.
