Who are you? Why do I not reconize your writing, eh? Splurge on my message board, will ya? ;) MWF: Survey American Lit II: Focusing on the writings of Frost, O'Neill, Hemingway and Fitzgerald.Finite Mathematics: Highschool Math course for Arts and Business students.
TR:Greek and Roman Philosophy: Stoics, Epicurians, Plotinus, Socrates, Plato, Aristotle.Democratic Idea: Democracy through the history of philosophy.WRITING SHORT FICTION: Self-explanatory.
This class was filled up until yesterday which prompted me to fuck around with my "ok" schedule. I dropped one core class for it and am now stuck with only two cores filled this year. I have somewhere between five and six to complete before graduating. I'm worried but I also consider this: I have until the end of this year to figure out whether I'm majoring in English or Philosophy and minoring in either with writing.
RE: the subject line of this entry.
I had dinner at Tony's house on Friday night. Did I ever tell you that Train's song "Drops of Jupiter" reminds me of him? Well, it came on the radio while we were all eating and my whole body language changed. I wondered how it was that I got here and when Tony asked, I said I was upset because the song reminded me of someone that I used to know.
We left and drove off to pick up his sister at the movies. Taking the backroads, I suggest we stop off at this old bridge and chat for a while. It was beautiful but he didn't see it. He was playing around with how cold it was, etc. And it was. But the beauty lay within the clear skies and the stars, the likes of which neither he nor I had ever seen so clearly.
So he asks me again who the song reminded me of. "You," I reply. And we get to talking. "I feel you're taking my presence for granted and I don't like that." He expresses how he is just really busy and while I believe him, I really don't. We get into the parking lot of the theater and talk for a half hour. Wondering how we grew apart, why things are different now and how we both realize that it's not working out anymore. For the first time, I'm able to vocalize my repressed animosity and frustration from the past year and I do so without crying.
I wonder aloud whether or not he still wants to be my friend and he begins by not giving me a clear answer. Stop. Try again. Yes or no. "If being friends will result in this same argument coming up all the time because neither of us change, then this isn't realistically healthy," says he. Right. I think we should go our separate ways. 'Sally, you should cut your losses and move on,' I think. Why aren't you crying? This is the end of something with someone to whom you attached a great deal of importance and you're not turning into a weeping ball of tears? Go you. Okay. We can do this.
We drive back to his house after I finally allow myself to be myself around him for the first time since we met. I start my car, get out, give Tony a hug and proceed drive home. For once, I feel as though I've made the right choice regarding him.
Elsewise, it's been a weird past couple of days. My paternal grandmother was diagnosed with cervical cancer on Thursday. Dunno what to say about this other than to just say it happened. This is the exact reason why I believe doctors (if used correctly) are vital aspects of humanity and should not be taken for granted or postponed until symptoms arise.
Work is good though. Three weeks until I return to college. Four weeks until I start what I hope to be one of the best years of my adult life.
Have I mentioned I'm looking forward to this? :)
