Yesterday Adrien calls me up from Lark Fest and asks me to come down: he's with Tim (boyfriend) and exDave.Still, I show up with Cathy in tow to see the love of my life and we spend a lot of time together. I allowed myself to let a lot of this week's shit just go because Adrien is in my immediate atmosphere thus making everything okay again.
But I haven't told him and I haven't told you about what the shit from this week consists of. I will however allude to a certain test that was omitted back in May after the last time I slept with Dave or anyone else. Fucking lab technicians who tested me for this when I was a virgin but didn't think hard enough to do it a month after I wasn't. I have a gut feeling that the result will be positive and then I will be treated and it will be gone. Gone with anything left of me and Dave: a relationship that was never meant to end well, it seems.
Back to the love.
Adrien has a new (to me) boyfriend. He's new because I've never met him in the year that they've been dating. This is horrible and after meeting Tim, I'm upset that we didn't meet sooner.
I think Adrien may have found the One: a mature man who treats him like he's more to him than just a sex toy (we both have the same ideal characteristics of a match). Tim and Adrien. Adrien and Tim.
So much for living together and having his child a la Will and Grace.
I love how much Adrien has this positive power over me. He is the one person I would sacrifice the most for in this world. It's a double edged sword: The bad part is when I realize how precious he is to me and that I can lose him and anyone else I love in this world in an instant. Yeah. I'm a philosophy major. Good part: When I'm thinking of or am just around him, I can think of nothing else but how grateful I am that he's around and that I made the "mistake" of dating his 24 year old best friend when I was 16 thus introducing him into my life by accident.
It's one of the best mistakes I've ever made :)
"I remember when I met you in 1999. I swore you hated me.""I do- DID -don't! I love you," he says and smiles.
I'm becoming harder and harder on myself since I've returned to college. I don't know what it is. As much as I hate all the pretty people on campus, my jealousy arises when I see the girls kissing the boyfriends I wish I had.
I want the hassles. I want the drama. I want the responsibilities and the time spent with someone worthwhile of blowing off my studies. I know what I want and I want it bad.
So bad I can fucking taste it dripping off my tongue as I bring it up to my mouth for another drink.
