It has been complicated.I'm seeing a massage therapist for the problems in my back now that physical therapy is over and I have more time. It's amazing. I love that my body is being paid attention to. Someone is using their hands in a respectful way and helping me feel better. I can get used to this.
I've gone back to work at Bath and Body Works. Sunday night found me restocking the floor with all of my co-workers. My feet hurt like hell.
I've been having a hell of a time arguing with my very old philosophy professor about how he's wrong and can't put more emphasis on the handouts than he does the textbooks.
I spoke to Burkey about it and after becoming a puddle of mental mush, I was clearer about it. He let me in on when he was in college, there was this asshole professor who was the most boring guy in the world. This guy wanted everything regurgitated back onto the paper, little room for interpretation or creativity. This guy goes against everything I've ever learned in highschool and up until now and for Burkey, this guy in college was the same.
He told me that instead of looking at it like it's a means of selling out, I have to give the professor what he wants on the exams and play him while doing so. If I go to him and suck up, I'll learn what he wants, give it to him and then get the grade I really deserve. After I pull an A on everything else, I'll go against it on my final and then have the mental last laugh.
I'm going home this weekend. I can't wait to get on the road. I don't think that my parents know or if they do, my father has forgotten by now. Two doctors appointments and then I'm home free.
I'll write again once or twice over the weekend...especially now that we've got roadrunner at the house.
I'm concerned that Greg is afraid to touch me, with good reason. But I want him to stop. I'm tired of the awkwardness around us. I need to find a way to make him see that it's okay to touch me. I had an idea for it but Squee sayeth it sounds extremely intimate and before I go through with it, I need to be sure what I really want from him: an intimate relationship or just a friendship.
I can't tell you which I'd prefer but it's kinda sad that I've never had a guy actually stop and listen to what I'm feeling.
