My roommate tells me last night that she wants to move out to save our friendship. The tension in our room is getting so high that it's going to prove detrimental.When I told her I had mono, it only made things worse. She supposedly spoke with her mom who told her to get out as soon as she can because she was afraid my roommate would get it.
I looked at Cathy and I said, "No, you were afraid. Don't use my being sick as an excuse to leave."
"Her mom" (Cathy) is afraid that she will catch it. "You can't get it from me unless I kiss you or we share drinks," I tell her. "YOU don't know that," she replies. Oh, I'm sorry but, I do know that. To prove it, I grabbed the little pamphlet from my bed which reads "So you have mono." I always thought those were cliche titles but they've shocked me again. I took out an orange highlighter, dragged it over the section that says "People with mono rarely give the disease to roommates or friends with whom they have only casual contact." When I was done, I put it in front of her and said "Read the hightlighted part."
Since she told me she wanted out, I've been rubbed the wrong way. I thought it was the other way around. I thought I was the one that wanted to leave.
But no, she's excited about moving out and on with her life and that's the problem...too excited.
I think it's that she went behind my back to speak with the RD and discuss all these things with her about how unbearable our living situation is...or is it that I peeked over her shoulder this morning to read that she thinks I'm emotionally sick and talk about suicide all the time.
I don't talk about suicide all the time. What the fuck? I've been on antidepressants that are helping me. I thought I was getting better...but apparently I'm not if it's so awful to live with me. It's not that I don't like people, it's just that I don't like to be around her. I'm sorry she's not strong enough to handle me.
But I am. And I'll be glad enough to do it myself if they let me live in a single next semester.
