I've been meaning to update for two or three days now...Perhaps even since Monday, something substantial.The most I've got right now is irritation. Irritation with Cathy and Kevin for being so okay with each other so soon after our explosive confrontation this past Monday night. I'm not okay with hanging out with Cathy yet. Kevin is. Cathy says she doesn't mind hanging out with me now.
So, what's wrong with me?
We had it out. She was loud. After I told her the things about her that irritated me, she said that he didn't think she'd be able to respect me if I didn't want to change what she saw as my major flaw: the fact that I need to be the center of attention all the time.
I got upset and told her that I was never going to stop wanting to be that. Not being the center of attention annoys me. I feel defeated. I feel ignored. There is no middle ground.
In the end, they're going out for Kevin's birthday tomorrow night and I'm reconsidering it because I can't handle hanging out with Cathy right now.
So am I petty if I don't go out with them tomorrow night for Kevin? I'm not even willing to give it a chance. How can I be okay hanging out with her if I feel as though nothing has been resolved?
I want to be there for Kevin. I do. I love him. I just can't stand Cathy in spite of how much we fought to resolve things the other night. ***Edit: 10:23pm ~ They're not going out tomorrow night. Kevin's putting it off til next Friday. I feel better.
