Cross-posting this into my livejournal.What the fuck is it doing being November?
I've decided not to renew my gold membership.
People are pissing me off.
Kevin's getting on my nerves. I was talking to one of our mutual friends who told me that one of his exboyfriends dumped Kevin because he thought he was getting fat, and that Kevin was left in the dark about why he was dumped until about 4 months later.
Sound fucking familiar to you?
I do.
But it wasn't from him, it was from me!
Thing is, I told our mutual friend that Kevin lied to her and I know this because if it was true, he would have said something to me about knowing what I was going through when Nick dumped me in that same way.
What I don't get is why he would take on my story? Is it to get sympathy?
He's very deluded about his self image. He's about 5'11 and 140lbs, if not less. Our usual conversations go like this:
Me: I just got in from outside. It's very sunny out there.Kevin: Are you sure? I thought it was cloudy.
He has to correct everything I or anyone else says and I fucking hate it. I wish he would just goddamned stop it because it makes me want to not be around him as often.
Because every single time he says something negative about himself and other people. He'll make some comment about how he's a whore and then later hates himself in front of people like we're supposed to joke about it...and I'm tired of it. It always happens. Then he cries, saying that nobody will ever love him ever and that he's a horrible human being and he's not attractive and he's not good enough and he's not blah blah blah and a little bit of not being blah blah blah.
He'll print out sheets about antidepressants with things highlighted and leave them in the lounge upstairs where he lives and all of his friends hang out. Other conversations go like this:
Kevin: My doctor suggested I go on antidepressants. What a crock! I don't need them, I'm fine! (ten minutes later) I'M FAT. HOW COME NOBODY LOVES ME? I'LL NEVER BE LOVED EVER!)
I've known him for 3 years. This is nothing new.
However, I am someone new. The antidepressants have changed me into someone who doesn't want to deal with this negativity shit any longer.
I just realized something: this entire entry is negative.
Wait. No it's not. It's just yours truly venting about something.
In other news, I hope you're all well. I got drunk last night.
For future reference, this is all it takes to get me drunk:
2 beers, 3 wine coolers and a smile.
