It's a night where lots of things are getting pushed off my shoulders or resolved. Wrote Miguel an email telling him off, in a nice way. He will probably blow me off and it'll just be one more bridge we'll have burned. I wrote this: Stopped by earlier. then i changed my mind. I'd rather do this by email instead of seeing you. Nothing major, just wanted to say something. The Eveyln stuff - Sure you don't need me commenting on it. If she's having your kid like what I've heard from other people, then I hope you behave in the way that would make your woman proud. You wouldn't respect her if she slept around on you. She wouldn't want you acting this way. Good for you for adjusting to just one woman. She's getting a good man. It's what she deserves but you don't have to avoid me because of what I may feel about it. you're not encouraging me by being nice or talking to me online. so you can stop immediately putting up that away message. I don't like it when people disrespect me in the way you seem to have been. I get that you're alienating people and that you're swamped with all that, but I don't like thinking about you as an asshole. i was perfectly able to understand if you'd just said something. I understand if the last time you and i were together was going to be the last time. I've gotten the point, got it a long time ago. you could have just said it and i wouldn't ever have asked you where things were going. You said that the moment things felt weird for me I should tell you and things would be over. It worked both ways. Things and you were fun while it lasted and I hold nothing against you. Sorry if I came on strong.lemme know you got this. elsewise, goodbye and take care. ¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ At least something else has found some resolution because Nick showed up online. WTF!? this happened: sally: wtf are you doing online?nick: checkin up on old friendssally: can i ask you something?nick: suresally: why couldn't you have just told me you thought i was getting fat?sally: i'm not saying this to start a fight, i'm just curiousnick: what are u talking aboutsally: paul told me that you said you broke up wiht me because you thought i was getting fatnick: i didn't break up with u cause i thought u were getting fatsally: why would he say something like that, it didn't make sensesally: it was shortly after he told me he liked me and i didn't feel the same waysally: he had mentioned that you told him to tell me thatnick: said it as a joke in anger because of what u said to him not meaning anything by it or for it to get back to usally: cause that really hurtnick: sorry i didn't intend tosally: and i've let it fuck me up since...nick: whatsally: the weight comment, thinking you had actually said itsally: sorry, i've just been going through a rough time latelysally: i really did not want to hate younick: really?sally: oh, don't get me wrong, i hated you Though this doesn't negate the deep hurt he caused me, it does provide me some relief. Now I'm just upset because I've let that dictate so much of my life for the last few months. And I was just tired of keeping it in: the resentment of him for saying things that i rationally knew had no grounding. I'm just so tired and working myself to the bone these last few weeks trying to keep my head above water. Truth is, all I really want is to be held and to be told that things will be okay. and the people i need that from aren't available to me - my father, AJ, even Kevin. And Kevin is another issue altogether. He's going to hate me. Once he finds out what's been going on, I will be discarded though the things I've done for him are for his benefit. He won't see it that way and our friendship which has lasted 3 years will become nothing. I can say this because I know him and how he feels down deep. I'll be left here knowing that I pushed him into ending our friendship, burning my bridges once again. It was not easy. previous - next